Wow was this weekend ever so unproductive! My new catering job is fine except the fact that it disturbs the weekend lazy/productive balance. I worked 8 hour shifts on Friday and Saturday, therefore completely depleting the energy I saved for homework today... poor excuse? Instead I watched the Packers/Seahawks game today, cleaned a little, read a little Steinbeck, practiced a little bit of viola... that sort of stuff. Nothing to help me with my current academic load... ah well. The greatest part of my day was handing my friend Jenn a resume to take to her work at the bank to see if I could be hired... no more hairnets for me! Oh working at a bank would be the best best best! And then my Saturdays and Sundays will never be taken again! @_@
So yea, I'm pretty much blogging to procrastinate homework, so what else can I talk about... Human nature. Yea, let's discuss that because I've been thinking a lot about it recently. Ray Kurzweil said in a YouTube interview that human emotions are something science understands least and will be the hardest task for a computer to ever replicate. I think human emotions naturally stem from personal experience and hormones, yet Steinbeck said it best that all negative emotions come from the absence or lack of love -- the love you think you deserve (read East of Eden, I can't capture Steinbeck like Steinbeck can). People are so afraid of being misunderstood, under appreciated or turned down, that they will act judgemental or indifferent.
Really, everyone is needy.
I wish I could tell my long term crush how much I want him and just grab and kiss him... but I'm afraid of being turned down (again), therefore I'm just giving up this frustrating chase. I just worry that he is as clueless or as shy as I am, and he is waiting for me to make a clear move... while I wait for him to make a clear move. Sigh, I hope pursuing crushes will be easier in my 30s, I have no idea how the dating scene even works at this age.
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